Who am I? That is a question I ask myself today. I know that I am Fun. I love my kids. I love to make people smile. I am a people Pleaser. I am very passionate about everything I do. There is no in between for me. I love too hard, I play too hard, everything I do is done with all I have in me. Sometimes that is not a good quality to have, It has gotten me in trouble many times. The one thing I know about myself Today is that I am an addict and I and in recovery today. As My body get clean and free of the shit I have ben putting in my body for many years I am trying to figure out who I am and how the hell to live my life Clean? This is a totally foreign concept for me and it has been not only hard for me , but for the people who live with me as well.
So my blog is going to be my daily journal , because I want to share this journey with anybody I can to help them or even if they can relate to my story I know that can be helpful as other stories have helped me so much.
My new Clean date today is December 14th, 2012. My original clean date started almost 9 months ago and during that time I would make about 89 days clean and then I feel. I have a few relapses which I will share but I do not intend to fall anymore. I have gained a little more knowledge with each relapse, but I also lost trust again with people who I love the most. I can’t let them down anymore. I can’t Let ME down anymore. It is time to be honest to myself so I can find that person I know I once loved in me. She deserves to be happy and live a full life without having to put something in her body to make her feel a little more comfortable in her own skin.
3 Comments
Living Clean 
I really admire that you haven’t given up despite minor relapses!
Thank you so much! That means alot to me. I will never give up no matter how many times I fall. Falling in not failure to me. Its a lesson learned and I want to see who I am clean…. I dont really know me clean and clear headed 😬
You’re right, relapse is a means to a stronger sobriety. Good luck to you xx